[RL] Mourning

How do you continue on when your world changes in one night?

First, I apologize for the long ass delay. A couple of months ago, my best friend died. And then literally a day later, I was in the hospital with the flu. Needless to say, I’ve put pause on EVERYTHING and I’m just now starting to get back into the flow of things.

Maybe one day, I’ll talk about him in a post but not now. The wound is still too fresh.

I will say that it’s been very hard getting up everyday without him, and I wouldn’t have made it this far without my family (especially my mom!), good friends who’ve allowed me to just cry on the phone when I need to, and my therapist, whom I’m very thankful to have met.

Seriously, I can’t advocate for therapy enough. I know that for some, it’s a luxury but if you can afford it, I encourage you to seek it out. Thankfully mine takes government assistance so it doesn’t cost me anything. Having someone to talk with has really helped the grieving process.

I confessed to her that I haven’t written anything since he’s died. Not that the ideas have gone away—they’re still there—but I’ve been afraid to do this on my own. He was someone who heard every story idea, every plotline and pothole I encountered. And I don’t know how, but he could always navigate me through the weeds to what I was trying to convey.

It’s very hard to continue doing something you enjoy when you don’t have your normal support.

But I’m happy to report that last week, I cracked open my novel manuscript and started typing out a new chapter. It was rough, but I was able to put down what I wanted my characters to say and do. And I felt so good afterwards.

So I’ve just been doing a little each day at a time. And I still take the day one hour at a time. I have good hours and bad hours. Maybe next year I can take it a day at a time. But I can say that I’m happy I’ve started writing again.

I apologize readers. It was a resolution of mine to blog more each month, but January just dealt me a blow I wasn’t expecting and that I won’t fully recover from. But I will do my best.

In convention news— I’ll be making an appearance at DC’s Awesome Con this Friday. My uncle will be giving a panel on The Science of Black Panther, and I’ll be going to Phil LaMarr’s Q&A at 6. I’ll be updating ye olde social media while I’m there, so make sure you follow me. And if you happen to be there, come say hi. I’ll also be working the Yaoi Revolution booth along with EAB at Baltimore’s Universal Fancon the weekend of April 27th, so come check us out. And it looks like we’ll be heading to Toronto the weekend of May 25th for Yaoi/Yuri North. This’ll be our first time going to a show in Canada and I’m hoping it’ll be fun.

My goal this week is to take care of some paperwork for my job and to write out another chapter of my book. And wash my hair– very simple. What do you hope to accomplish this week?

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